I just found out there’s nothing wrong with me, it is the world that has issues.
What to Do When You’re Disappointed In Yourself
#1 Pause
If you feel yourself slipping into disappointment, you should pause. Often, our own failures trigger our fight, flight, or freeze response. Take some deep breaths, give yourself space to think, and calm down. Think about the situation in front of you rationally and thoughtfully so you can remain objective.
#2 Use It
If your actions make you disappointed, use that disappointment as an impetus to find a solution or try again. This is an opportunity for you to shift toward self-compassion and self-love. You are a human who makes mistakes, just like we all are. What matters in this moment is how you choose to move forward. Use your disappointment as a catalyst to make good choices.
3. Explore
If you want to make positive changes, you may need to spend some time in introspection. Ask yourself questions about why and how you disappointed yourself. How did the circumstances affect your choices? Do your goals or their implementation need to be reexamined? Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself, your tendencies, and who you want to be.
4. Plan
Your plan should be realistic to the demands of your life and involve small, attainable steps for you to get there. Think ahead of potential challenges that could derail your goals and how you will tackle them. Set yourself up for future success.
#5. Name Your Feelings
Being disappointed in yourself when things do not go well is normal. Name your feelings, accept them, and then make positive decisions about how to move forward. As we noted before, denial is unhelpful. By identifying and feeling your emotions associated with failure and disappointment, you are equipping yourself to move forward with those feelings resolved, rather than just shoved into a corner of your heart and ignored as long as possible.
#6 Practice Self-Compassion
Chances are, you will make more mistakes, you will fail again, you will disappoint yourself because you are human. The best thing you can offer yourself in those moments is self-compassion. Self-compassion helps us accept our mistakes as learning and growth opportunities that help us in the future. Start growing the habit of self-compassion now.
#7 Get Help
If you are struggling to move past being disappointed in yourself or engaging in self-destructive behaviors, a therapist can be an excellent resource and support. Together, you can work on dismantling unhelpful thoughts and habits and embracing new, positive replacements.
