In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.”
The congregation used to respond by saying, “And with thy spirit.”But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now says, “The Lord be with you,” and everyone responds with, “And also with you.”
One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable.
As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times and finally said, “There’s something wrong with this!”
Without hesitation, the whole congregation answered faithfully, “And also with you.”
A woman walks into Cabela’s to buy a fishing rod and reel for her son’s birthday.
Not knowing much about fishing gear, she randomly picks one and heads to the counter.
The clerk, wearing dark glasses, stands behind the register. She approaches him and asks, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He replies, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything about it just from the sound.”
Skeptical but curious, she lets it fall onto the counter.
The clerk listens and says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. It’s a solid all-around combo, and lucky for you, it’s on sale this week for just $20.”
Amazed, she exclaims, “That’s incredible! I’ll take it.”
As she reaches into her purse to grab her wallet, her credit card slips out and lands on the floor.
Without missing a beat, the clerk says, “Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard.”
She bends down to pick it up and, in an unfortunate moment, accidentally lets out a fart.
Embarrassed, she freezes, then reassures herself—there’s no way the blind clerk could know it was her. After all, he can’t see that she’s the only one nearby.
The man rang up her purchase and said, “That’ll be $34.50.”
Puzzled, she asks, “Wait… didn’t you say the rod and reel were $20? How did it jump to $34.50?”
He smiles and replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel are $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”
Without another word, she swipes her MasterCard and walks out.
