No matter what happens, NEVER do these things when your man is angry
We all get angry every now and then, and there is nothing wrong with expressing it because anger is one of the many natural human emotions. However, turning violent and aggressive is not acceptable at all. It is important to understand and help your partner if he gets angry. To help you with this, here are 7 ways to calm down a man
Things you shouldn’t do
1. Don’t assume.
Don’t assume you know the reason why your husband is angry. Ask questions to clarify your husband’s motives and ask about his needs. Respectfully inquire about the changes you notice in his behavior by highlighting the reason for your worry and what’s best for both of you. Having an open conversation gives you a surprising result.
2. Don’t scold him.
You might want to talk him down by saying things like, “Calm down.” That’s not a good idea. If you want to help him work through his anger, say, “Okay, you seem upset. What’s really the problem?”
Things you should do
3. Try to stay calm
Of course, it’s natural for your temper to flare. Especially when you feel that he’s lashing out unfairly. But your heated response will only escalate the tension.
Remember, your true goal is to lessen that volatile energy. Staying calm won’t feel easy, but try to hold your temper, remain calm and exercise patience. When you feel your temper rising, pause and breathe through the uncomfortable sensations in your body, and then respond thoughtfully (instead of reacting emotionally or defensively).
4. Make him feel emotionally safe
Say kind things to your man and avoid criticizing him (or patronizing him). Additionally, listening attentively to him will help him feel emotionally supported.
5. Practice compassion
Compassion is a solution to his anger. When your man feels frustrated or angry, trying to turn his hostile feelings into love and kindness probably feels next to impossible. But it actually is possible and the solution you’re looking for.
6. Just listen to him
Anger escalates when your partner feels he’s not being heard or respected. Communicate directly and use reflective listening. Make sure you reaffirm whatever your partner shares with you — this makes him feel understood. Try to relate to what he is saying.
We all long to feel understood and validated. Your husband feels the same way. He won’t feel connected unless he feels you get what he’s saying or experiencing.
7. Spot the anger early
Don’t forget that prevention is better than cure in terms of the energy and effort required. Early intervention either keeps the anger from starting or at least keeps it from getting stronger.
The sooner you spot the anger, the greater your ability to respond and manage the situation before it gets out of control. A wise and aware wife skilled at noticing the signs of his anger early can lead her husband to a safer and calmer place.
