A 50-year-old nun visits a prestigious psychotherapist on Harley Street in London.
She settles into the leather sofa and speaks in a deeply melancholy tone:
“Doctor, I am suffering from a highly irregular psychological anomaly. Lately, every single time I close my eyes to pray in the evening, my mind completely refuses to visualize the saints. Instead, I am flooded with vivid images of luxury superyachts in Monaco, high-stakes casinos in Las Vegas, and incredibly expensive cocktails.”
“Doctor, I am suffering from a highly irregular psychological anomaly. Lately, every single time I close my eyes to pray in the evening, my mind completely refuses to visualize the saints. Instead, I am flooded with vivid images of luxury superyachts in Monaco, high-stakes casinos in Las Vegas, and incredibly expensive cocktails.”
The therapist smiles professionally, making notes in his journal, “Sister, this is a textbook midlife manifestation. It’s simply the resurgence of repressed material desires after decades of ascetic discipline. You shouldn’t harbor any spiritual guilt over it.”
The nun shakes her head, letting out a heavy, weary sigh:
“Doctor, you completely misunderstand. I don’t feel a shred of guilt. I am here because I need you to use deep hypnosis to help me remember the 24-character security key to a Bitcoin wallet that a wealthy tech donor mistakenly transferred to my private email account last year. I distinctly remember visualizing the password during one of these mental yacht trips, but every time I wake up, I keep forgetting the final four characters!”
“Doctor, you completely misunderstand. I don’t feel a shred of guilt. I am here because I need you to use deep hypnosis to help me remember the 24-character security key to a Bitcoin wallet that a wealthy tech donor mistakenly transferred to my private email account last year. I distinctly remember visualizing the password during one of these mental yacht trips, but every time I wake up, I keep forgetting the final four characters!”
The therapist immediately stops writing, walks over to lock the office door, draws his chair closer, and says:
“Sister, this is a highly critical case requiring intensive, collaborative therapy. I propose a fifty-fifty clinical partnership. I will use the deepest subconscious hypnotic techniques to retrieve those four characters, and you will ensure my name is on the guest list for that yacht cruise to Monaco next summer.”
“Sister, this is a highly critical case requiring intensive, collaborative therapy. I propose a fifty-fifty clinical partnership. I will use the deepest subconscious hypnotic techniques to retrieve those four characters, and you will ensure my name is on the guest list for that yacht cruise to Monaco next summer.”
