A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
This parrot, however, was no ordinary bird. It had a foul attitude and an even fouler mouth.
Every word it squawked was rude, obnoxious, and peppered with profanity.
John, determined to reform the bird, tried everything: he spoke to it in calm, polite tones, played soothing music, and spent countless hours encouraging better behavior. But nothing worked.
One day, after yet another barrage of rude remarks, John finally lost his patience. He yelled at the parrot, but the bird only yelled back, even louder and nastier. Frustrated, John grabbed the parrot and gave it a shake. This only made things worse—the parrot grew angrier and even more offensive.
At his wit’s end, John decided to try something drastic. He opened the freezer, placed the squawking parrot inside, and shut the door.
For the first few moments, the parrot squawked, kicked, and screamed in protest. Then, suddenly, there was silence.
Not a sound came from the freezer for over a minute.
Worried he might have hurt the bird, John quickly opened the door.
The parrot stepped out onto John’s arm, calm and composed.
“I believe I may have offended you with my language and actions,” the parrot said with surprising sincerity. “I am deeply sorry for my behavior and assure you I will make every effort to be polite and respectful from now on.”
John was stunned. He couldn’t believe the transformation. As he opened his mouth to ask what had caused such a dramatic change, the parrot leaned in and softly added,
“By the way… may I ask what the turkey did?”
A trucker walked into a truck stop café and gave his order.
He said, “I’ll have three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards.”
The new blonde waitress, eager to do her job well but puzzled by the request, went to the kitchen and asked the cook, “There’s a guy out there who just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards. Does he think this is an auto parts shop?”
The cook chuckled and explained, “No, no. Three flat tires are three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two sunny-side-up eggs, and running boards are two slices of crispy bacon.”
Relieved, the waitress nodded and returned to prepare the order. But before serving it, she had an idea. She grabbed a bowl of beans and added them to the tray.
When she placed the food in front of the trucker, he looked at the bowl of beans and asked, “What are the beans for?”
With a bright smile, she replied, “Well, I figured while you’re waiting for your flat tires, headlights, and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
