Say you’re stuck in a *pretty* bad marriage – but you can’t divorce your spouse (which is the case in most countries.) Then again, you may be reluctant to divorce them, for you still might be able to work things out.
The good news is that you can get through this. It’s just a matter of following these tips on surviving a lousy union – sans divorce.
1. Always Listen
Make sure you truly listen when he or she speaks. Pay attention to every detail your spouse wants you to know. This will help your spouse to know that you truly care. It will also help create the right atmosphere for love to grow.
2. Get Busy
To avoid negative thoughts, always keep yourself busy with doing productive things like learning a skill, getting a job, starting a business, etc
3. Don’t Depend On Your Spouse For Everything
Disrespect and other bad attitudes from your spouse could be because you are overly dependent on him or her. Try as much as possible to be as independent as you can be. Everyone respects one that is independent at least to an extent.
4. Avoid Things That Bring Quarrels
Make conscious efforts to avoid doing things that can anger your spouse and cause tension to exist between the two of you.
5. Let Your Marriage Be Your First Priority
Always create time to think and plan every day for your marriage. Prepare for each day as though you were preparing a meal. There’s a popular saying that “if you fail to plan, then you’re planning to fail.” Nothing happens by chance.
6. Find Something Good To Hold On To
No matter how bad a person may seem there’s always something good you can appreciate that person for. There’s always something he/she is doing right amid his/her million wrongs that are not worth appreciating. Look for these things and hold on to them.
Try to remember that one thing that you first saw in your spouse that made you marry him or her. This is a good pointer to what you can appreciate in your spouse.
7. Give your spouse a Chance Into Your Life
If you want your marriage to last, you have to give your spouse a chance in your life. Make your spouse feel valued, allow him/her to make some decisions in your life such as;
– Your wears
– The kind of meal to prepare
– L0vemaking etc.
8. Don’t Attempt Changing Your Spouse
It is common that when you have married someone, somehow you will try to change that person to suit you. This is wrong. Rather than trying to change your spouse, focus on yourself and your issues.
9. Stop Obsessing Over Your Spouse Behavior
Do not try to control your spouse’s behavior because it will drain you emotionally and sometimes psychologically. When you began to obsess over what you have no control over you’ll lose yourself in the process. There are some aspects of your partner that you won’t necessarily love or agree with. This is natural, remember no one is perfect.
You can talk to your spouse about his or her downsides, by having open and honest conservation with him or her but you can’t initiate a change in your spouse or control his or her affairs.
