ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ is among the most common reasons couples break up.
According to researchers who studied 160 different cultures around the world, this theory to be true across the globe. However, men and women view each type of ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ differently. Men usually take physical ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ – when their partner has s+x with someone else – more seriously than women.
Women take emotional ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ more seriously – when their partner starts an intimate relationship with another person.
Each type of ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ is experienced differently, but men and women are about equally willing to forgive their partners, with findings showing that the degree of forgiveness is unrelated to the type of ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ.
“We were impressed when we discovered that the differences between the sexes were not so great. The mechanisms that motivate forgiveness are more or less identical in both sexes,” explains Professor Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair from the Department of Psychology at the University of Norway, who was a co-author of this study published in the Journal of Relationships Research.
In the study, 92 couples were asked to fill out a questionnaire about problems described in hypothetical scenarios where their partner had committed some kind of betrayal, writes Protothema.
One scenario depicted the partner having sex with another person, but not falling in love. In the other scenario, the partner falls in love with the other person, but they don’t have s+x.
So how willing were the participants to forgive their partners? As it turns out, men and women process their partner’s ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ almost identically.
“Most people, regardless of gender and type of betrayal, believe that they are unlikely to forgive their partner’s betrayal. Whether or not a couple divorces basically depends on how threatening to the relationship the infidelity that has occurred is. The more threatening the betrayal, the worse for the relationship”, explains the first author of the study, Trond Viggo Grøntvedt.
Whether the two partners believe their relationship can continue also depends on how willing they are to forgive each other, especially without distancing themselves from each other.
“People react differently to betrayal, depending on their personality and circumstances. Many people might think that couples who have a strong relationship would be better prepared to endure ɪɴғɪᴅᴇʟɪᴛʏ, but our study did not show this,”, Professor Mons Bendixen says.
