She Tried to Spice Up Their Dead Marriage with Risqué Lingerie. His Reaction Deserved the Flying Wine Glass.
A thoroughly frustrated housewife decided it was time to take drastic measures to spice up her completely dead sex life and get her husband’s attention. She went out to a boutique lingerie shop and bought a daring, highly provocative pair of crotchless panties.
A few nights later, she went all out. She cooked his absolute favorite steak dinner, put on the new lingerie under an incredibly revealing, ultra-short skirt, and poured herself a glass of wine. She relaxed gracefully on the sofa, positioning herself directly across the living room from where her husband was lounging in his favorite armchair reading the paper.
After a few more glasses of liquid courage, and deciding that the romantic mood was finally perfect, she uncrossed her legs just wide enough to give him an unmistakable, front-row view of the prize.
It didn’t take long for the husband’s eyes to drift away from his reading material. He locked onto the target, squinting intensely.
“Honey…” he asked slowly, lowering his paper. “Are you wearing crotchless panties?”
The wife bit her lip, flashing him a seductive, coy smile. “Y-e-s, darling,” she purred, thinking her plan had worked flawlessly.
The husband let out a massive, exhausted sigh of relief, sunk back into his chair, and gasped:
“Thank God for that! For a second there, I thought you were sitting on the cat.”
He never saw the flying glass of red wine coming.
