Tatyana never spoke to anyone about what occurred to her many years ago. She lived peacefully and alone, avoiding interfering in other people’s issues. If someone begged for assistance, she always responded. If not, she did not assert herself.
Despite her blindness, Tanya saw the world more acutely than most sighted people. She could tell more about someone by their smell, the sound of their footsteps, or their breathing than others could by looking at them. She could recognize emotions in a voice, fear in the rustling of garments, and anguish in a barely audible sigh. Her perception changed, becoming deeper and more exact.
One doctor, who happened to be visiting her, was amazed:
– How do you do that? I even took a shower and dressed cleanly for the visit. It took me half an hour to get here, with no perspiration and no sign of the street. You still understood everything…
Tatyana responded softly:
– I can smell sorrow. It exists in those who have lost hope. All you have to do is learn to grasp its origins. It’s challenging. Almost impossible. But it’s feasible.
The doctor asked a cautious question:
– You help many people… I didn’t just come to you for no reason. But why not help yourself? Forgive me for being blunt, but this seems unfair.
Tanya shrugged slightly:
– It can’t be treated with herbs. And it’s not a disease at all. More like a trace. After a strong fright or grief, the brain can turn off anything – voice, speech… I lost my sight. It happens.
Tatyana walked into the forest today, just as she does every weekend. Murat strolled alongside her, a large, shaggy dog who was devoted and intelligent. Sometimes he indulged in puppy joy, breaking into a sprint and tumbling in the grass. But as soon as Tanya screamed out, he returned and pressed his side against his mistress.
Everyone in the village knew her as “Grandma Tanya.” No one guessed she wasn’t yet 50. Tatyana, however, did not complain, allowing them to think what they wished. Anyway, there are fewer inquiries.
She paused abruptly. She froze, as if she had merged into the ground. Murat abruptly froze next to her, with no sound or movement. Only silence and serious focus.
Tanya listened. Somewhere in the distance, an engine was gaining strength – muffled, straining. And the sound was getting closer. It seemed like the car was heading straight here.
Murat poked his cold nose into my leg, as if to say, I’m here, don’t be afraid.
“If only it were past…” flashed through Tanya’s mind. But no – the engine died down right at the gate.
It went cold inside. Something was wrong. Usually, when people came to her for help, their hearts responded with warmth. Now it shrank, as if under ice.
The door slammed. Voices were heard, harsh and full of suppressed anger.
– Why did you start this? – a male voice said hoarsely. – What nonsense? Do you believe this local elderly lady will be able to assist me? Do you realize how much has transpired already?
The woman’s voice sounded awful and cloyingly sweet, like honey mixed with yeast:
– Well, my dear, you’ve completely lost your mind! All the doctors have thrown up their hands – and here I am, in despair, rushing to the last hope! I’m taking you to this… local sorceress. What if she works a miracle? Imagine what a story – a loving wife who didn’t leave you without help! And it would be better here, in nature, than at home… Maybe you’ll have time to watch the sunsets one last time.
The man laughed bitterly:
– I never expected such foresight from you. Although… the account is already blocked. Down to the last penny.
The woman giggled shrilly:
– It’s okay, I’ll be patient. It won’t take long. Once I inherit, the block will disappear and life will get better. Oh, I’ve been sick of you for a long time! You can’t even imagine!
Pause. He took a deep breath. His voice become as frigid as the winter wind.
– It’s better to be here with the wild animals than next to a hyena like you. Go away.
Footsteps. The door slammed. The automobile shrieked and sped off.
Tatyana stood still, as if terrified. She knew the female voice. The same woman who had arrived a year earlier. She asked for a collection of herbs to “improve her husband’s health a little.” Offered quantities that would cause others to bend down. However, Tanya refuses to accept payment in exchange for her assistance. Especially when she recognizes death in other people’s words.
Then, a fresh voice. Close. Behind the gates.
– Hello… – he sounded with pain and confusion. – Sorry, I was… thrown out. Right here. And I… can’t go anywhere.
Tanya shuddered with her whole body. She knew that voice too. But she couldn’t remember where it came from. Somewhere deep in her memory a shadow flickered, but she couldn’t find a face. Only emptiness.
“Hello…” she said, trying to keep her voice even so as not to betray her trembling.
Tanya moved a long stick in front of her in a familiar motion to sense the space. There it was—the chair. Bending down, she felt the familiar levers, clicked a few times, and the mechanism opened. She had seen this several times: how many travelers in wheelchairs had approached her for assistance! She rolled the device closer to the man and spoke softly:
– Please sit down.
– How can I…? – his voice was filled with dread. – You cannot hold anything with your hands… They can’t hold me.
“Murat, help!” Tanya commanded strongly, leaving no space for debate.
She felt the man’s snort of disbelief on her skin. He soon let out a surprised, almost reverent sigh:
– A dog?.. So… you are wiser than most people! Others, for sure.
Wheezing, groaning, and struggles ensued before the man found support and settled comfortably into the chair. A deep sigh of relief.
“You can’t go anywhere now,” Tanya remarked gently but confidently. “You shouldn’t even attempt. Your blood pressure is rapidly rising. It’s going to get extremely nasty quickly.”
She gently, almost weightlessly brushed his brow with her palm. Cold, cold skin. The man shuddered with surprise.
“How do you know all this?” His voice was full with astonishment and disbelief.
Tanya felt a piercing prick within, like a splinter deep in her chest. Again! Now! An response flashed on the edge of recollection, so sweet and familiar. But it vanished again, like morning fog. She swore angrily to herself.
A dull, helpless rage began to boil within her. It was the first time! She remembered every rustling, leaf, and sound she’d ever heard. And now, a failure. As if her mind had decided to play a nasty joke on her. Damn it.
It was a long time ago. It felt like an eternity had gone since then. 30 years. To be precise, it had been nearly thirty-one years since the catastrophe.
Tanya was then a young girl, attractive and full of life, with eyes that burned like fire. Her intentions were large and spectacular. She rushed to the city, as if on wings, to study, work, and rule the world.
Only two days later, her world was turned upside down by a single meeting. He became everything for her: air, light, and life itself. She felt his love in every cell of her body.
Then came happiness – genuine happiness, the type that makes you fly. She got pregnant. She ran to him, as if to a fire, to express her excitement and start their shared happiness.
But instead, I saw him in bed with someone else.
It was not simply a blow; it was a collapse. The beginning of the end. A path lined with broken glass leads to lunacy.
Tanya bolted out into the street, like a terrified cat. Where? Why? She didn’t notice anything around her; she just ran until her strength failed. She would occasionally pause, double over from vomiting, and turn inside out.
Run away! Disappear! Not a single person was nearby!
Someone among the passers-by must have contacted an ambulance and police. The girl lay lifeless, yet was breathing. Her eyes were as empty as a burnt wasteland.
Then followed the darkness, long black days she could not remember. Only darkness, thick and sticky, surrounded her on all sides, and animal horror made her blood run cold. Her consciousness was blurred by injections, emotionless examinations, and fuzzy white jackets. Someone in the distance was talking about a youngster… She had lost him.
She had nothing! There was no child, no life; everything had burned out that day.
Everything that was before has been erased from memory. And it’s better to let it stay that way. It will never come back.
She ended up here by chance, thanks to some kind old woman from the institution where she was placed, either a shelter or a mental hospital. She often talked about her little house in the village, about healing herbs, about a quiet, measured life.
Tanya had no one then. And nothing. Only emptiness. Except, perhaps, a half-ruined house two hundred miles from the damned city.
She made up her mind. What was there to lose?
Nothing.
Tanya started to prepare. It felt like getting ready to leap into frigid water. Every day is a modest test of spirit, body, and willpower.
The old doctor shook his head sympathetically: “How are you doing there, girl, all alone?” Tanya lifted her chin and replied, “I’ll manage somehow.” People live, and I shall live. Maybe it’s true; maybe there are herbs or silence that will assist. Perhaps your eyesight will return. However, your circumstance is unusual. In my whole experience, I’ve only heard of such a thing once. But that woman… did not survive. She had been blind for five years and decided to settle the score herself. But do not give up hope; miracles do happen. They certainly do.
Tanya tried, too. She crept out of the darkness as best she could, holding on to every sound and thought. She remembered parts of the old woman’s story, tasted roots and leaves, and listened to their language. Over time, it appeared to her that she learned to understand the herbs intuitively and instinctively.
She once saved a man from terrible stomach discomfort and another from a chronic cough. She never begged for money for assistance. She gratefully took any leftover cereal, flour, or sugar.
One of the people she assisted returned. Murat was then taken to her.
The puppy was still clumsy and lop-eared. But as soon as he licked her hand and pressed his wet nose to it, Tanya immediately understood: here he is, her most devoted and loyal friend. For many years to come.
Tanya felt confident in her own home – she knew every corner, every floorboard that creaked with every step. But her unexpected guest felt worse with each passing minute: his breathing became intermittent and hoarse.
Tanya deftly, as if she had done it a thousand times, brewed her herbs. The smell was sharp, bitter, the infusion dark and rich. She placed the cup in front of the man.
– Drink.
He winced, wrinkling his nose.
– Ugh… How it stinks! It’s some kind of poison!
“Drink, I said!” Tanya’s voice was solid, with no sign of doubt. “While it still smells, there is a chance. It will be too late by the time it no longer stinks. It’s really too late.
The man hesitated briefly before taking the cup, shaking his hands, and drinking it in one rush, grimacing from the bitterness.
Tanya nodded at the trestle bed:
– Now, lie down. You will fall asleep soon. The finest remedy is sleep.
He proceeded as obediently as a child to the wooden sofa, which was covered in a thick handcrafted mattress. Tanya heard his steady, even breathing, and he fell asleep a few minutes later.
She exhaled with relief, her shoulders relaxing. She removed the heavy headscarf, then a second, smaller one. She put on a jacket that looked almost like someone else’s; she always dressed that way when she went outside or welcomed visitors. She wanted to be unseen so that people would ask fewer questions and not dig into her soul.
Who is this man? Why does his voice sound familiar to her? And why does every phrase he says pierce her heart like a splinter?
Tanya gingerly placed herself onto the edge of the chair beside the sofa. She gently laid her palm on the sleeping man’s forehead, almost scared to cause pain. Hot…
It cannot be! Could it actually be him?! A man from her past, from a life she’d long forgotten? No, it cannot be!
Tanya touched his forehead again, her hand quivering.
And again: anguish, searing, like if a fire had begun inside. The heart began to pound, blood thundered in the temples, and a noise filled the ears, blotting out everything else.
The man grumbled in his sleep and said something incoherent.
“Igor?” Tanya muttered quietly. For years, she had been afraid to utter the name.
The man on the sofa abruptly opened his eyes. His look was clouded and filled with suspicion.
… A full year has gone since that day. A year that transformed everything.
Tanya was gradually coming back to life. Her eyes stung, but there was no more endless, oppressive darkness. She started to see. Light comes first, followed by contours and colors. She blinked several times. Already better. Objects became recognized.
“I see…” she muttered, skeptical. “I… see!”
Igor, who had not left her side for a single step, suddenly felt a yearning for life arise within him.
– Tanyusha! We’re still young! I’ll get up! I’ll absolutely get up! I will deceive all diagnosis! We’ll be together! We still have 20 years ahead of us! Our entire lives! She laughed through her tears of ecstasy.
Inga was running around like she’d been stung. She needed money. Or at least Igor’s documentation proving his “death” and inheritance. To bribe anyone who needed to receive a certificate. After all, she had already buried him in her thoughts. Allow them to tell her where his grave was, as long as they possessed the documentation.
She lived overseas for two years with yet another wealthy suitor, but it soon became clear that he had an elderly but menacing wife who had cut him off financially. Inga returned to her native wilderness, stooped down, convinced that Igor was long dead. But no one knew he had died.
“It’s okay,” she thought, “I’ll arrange everything myself now. “Quickly and reliably.”
A car appeared in the distance. I need to ask.
– Hello! Tell me, a herbalist granny used to live here… I can’t find the house.
The car stopped. The driver slowly took off his dark glasses. He grinned.
Inga recoiled as if from a blow.
– Igor?! Is this a joke?!
A woman emerged from the passenger seat – beautiful, confident, with inner strength in her eyes.
– I’m a herbalist. What do you need?
Inga looked from one to the other.
– Is it… is it you?! You must be an ancient old woman! Igor! Why are you alive?!
He laughed, easily and freely.
Inga understood how pitiful she appeared now. But disappointment and wrath erupted.
— But the doctors claimed it would only be six months to a year! This cannot be!!!
– I hear you, – Igor said, stopping his laughter. – And you listen. The place where you left me was always mine. But I’ve left it to you. Please take the docs. Live. And there’s no money. Not a penny.
“I won’t give you a divorce!” Inga squealed.
Igor chuckled.
– Inga, do not make me laugh. I’ve been married for six months. To the woman I love.
He wrapped his arm around Tanya’s shoulders, and they went towards their house without looking back.
