Bill woke up with the mother of all hangovers.
He cracked open one eye and spotted a glass of water, two aspirin, and a neatly folded note on the bedside table.
His clothes were clean and freshly pressed.
The bedroom was spotless.
Completely confused, he stumbled into the kitchen.
A hot breakfast was waiting on the stove, the morning newspaper was neatly laid out, and another note read, “Honey, breakfast is ready. I went shopping. Love you!”
Bill couldn’t believe his eyes.
He found his son and asked, “Okay… what happened last night?”
His son replied, “You got home after 3 a.m., completely drunk. You broke a chair, threw up in the hallway, and even stepped on the cat.”
Bill stared in disbelief.
“Then why does everything look so… perfect?”
His son grinned.
“Oh, that’s easy.”
“When Mom tried to help you take off your pants, you pushed her away and yelled…”
“‘Hands off, lady! I’m a married man!'”
Bill smiled.
For the first time in history, being too drunk to recognize his own wife turned out to be the smartest thing he’d done all night.
