A notoriously cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a local supermarket. From the moment she was caught, she gave absolutely everyone a nightmare of a time—screaming at the store manager, insulting the security guard, and criticizing the arresting officer all the way to the station.
When she finally stood before the judge, her sour attitude hadn’t changed a bit.
The judge looked down at her. “What did you steal from the store, ma’am?”
“Just a stupid can of peaches!” she snapped defiantly.
“And why did you do that?” the judge asked patiently.
“I was hungry and forgot my wallet, alright?” she muttered.
The judge peered at the case file. “And how many individual peaches were inside that can?”
“Nine!” she barked. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
The judge smiled calmly. “Well, ma’am, since you stole nine peaches, I am going to sentence you to nine days in jail—one day for each peach.”
As the judge raised his gavel to finalize the sentence, the woman’s long-suffering husband, who had been sitting quietly in the back of the courtroom for hours, slowly raised his hand.
“Your Honor,” the husband spoke up meekly. “May I say something?”
The judge paused. “Yes, sir. What would you like to add?”
The husband smiled gently and said, “She also stole a giant can of peas.”
