A Nebraska farmer had a major problem with his horny pet parrot, who kept sneaking into the chicken coop and having his way with the hens. It happened so often that the poor chickens grew stressed and stopped laying eggs entirely.
Furious, the farmer grabbed the parrot and warned him, “If you touch another chicken on this farm, I am going to pluck every single feather out of your head!”
Sure enough, the very next morning, the farmer walked into the coop and caught the parrot red-handed. True to his word, the angry farmer snatched up the bird and plucked his head completely bald.
That evening, the farm was hosting a formal dinner party. The farmer’s wife thought it would be a sophisticated touch to have the parrot perched by the front entrance to greet the arriving guests.
Dutifully, the bald parrot stood guard at the door, calling out to the arriving crowd: “Ladies to the left! Gentlemen to the right!”
He repeated this flawlessly for an hour, until he spotted two completely bald men walking through the door.
The parrot paused, blinked, and squawked, “Ladies to the left! Gentlemen to the right! …And you two chicken-humpers, get up here on the perch with me!”
