Endings of romantic relationships can be challenging, leaving you feeling shattered and disoriented. Just as you believe you are regaining control of your life, encountering your ex on social media or at a coffee shop can stir up lingering thoughts in your mind, “Should I call my ex?”
Should I Call My Ex?
The primary motivation behind the inclination to call your ex may stem from a desire to ascertain whether they miss you or not. However, even if they do miss you, they may not be emotionally ready to engage in a cordial conversation immediately.
Even if they are, they might not express it right away. Do not be fooled into thinking that they will melt and ask you to come back into their lives. If they have not initiated contact from their side, you should not reach out either. If they broke up with you, they most likely have moved on, and you should too.
You should only contact your ex if you have unfinished business with them (loans, mortgage, or other important stuff). Even if they have not called you yet, take the initiative and call them since it concerns both of you equally.
12 Reasons Not To Contact Your Ex
Upon experiencing a breakup, you may have encountered the “no-contact” rule, recognized as the most effective approach to moving on from an ex-partner.
1. You will end up regretting it.
Breakups can leave you feeling hopeless, which is why they’re difficult. You believe that by talking with compassion and love, you could change the situation to your advantage. But chances are they could not want you back, which is the opposite of what you had hoped for. Therefore, avoid trying to talk to people or you can come to regret it.
2. You cannot change them.
You feel despondent, disheartened, and upset. So, when you want to reconnect with your ex, it is your emotional self that makes the decisions for you. Calling them to take you back is not the answer. If they broke up with you, then you calling them is not going to change their mind.
3. You don’t want to be just “friends” with them.
After a breakup, many people stay in touch with their ex-lovers and maintain being friends over time. However, not everyone can be like that.. If you think being around your ex can make you reminisce about the painful memory of your breakup, then you do not have to be friends with them. You are allowed to move on at your pace.
4. You need to stop and think about what you are doing.
Do you care for them as good friends? Do you think that your actions will make them think breaking up with you was a mistake? You are mistaken. Thinking all this will put you into emotional turmoil, only to hurt you again.
5. You will end up embarrassing yourself.
Let’s say you have mustered up all the courage to make that dreaded call. But what happens next? They might not want to communicate with you and ignore you. Will you end up leaving a text message then? The best thing to do is take some time away from your phone. To escape from that embarrassment, don’t act on your sudden urges to call your ex.
6. You are trying to revive something that died.
When your ex decides to end the relationship, it signifies a shift in their intimate feelings for you. Merely encountering you or hearing your voice is unlikely to rekindle the emotions they once had. Trying to revive a dead relationship is only going to be futile. You will only get emotional and hurt yourself.
7. You should stop paying heed to what your ex might be doing.
You came across a post that suggested your ex might be dating someone. It’s time that you stop worrying about your ex and move on. Moving on might seem hard, but focusing on yourself and surrounding yourself with your friends will help you take your mind off things that might be bugging you. If they are not in your life, they are not your problem to deal with anymore.
8. You and your ex could not work things out.
When you are hurt, it is common to miss your ex and get into remembering the good things. But the reality is the rapport did not work out, maybe because you were not compatible. You cannot change it by contacting them, so move on.
9. You should not be impulsive.
Impulsive decisions are good once in a while, but calling your ex, asking them to come back is a big no. You might feel weak momentarily, but do not give in just yet. If they want you back, they will initiate contact with you.
Hence, in these moments of weakness, you can reach out to your close ones to share your feelings and take your mind off your ex. Writing about her moving on phase, Madison Sasser, a mental health blogger, says, “Last night, I committed to texting my girlfriend after a few glasses of wine instead of texting my Ex. A breakup is a break in the connection I shared with my Ex. I can’t continue to text him my thoughts on The Bachelor after a glass of Moscato”.
10. You deserve someone better.
Experiencing a breakup can be tumultuous and painful. Although no relationship is flawless, there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally and won’t easily give up on you. Therefore, resist the urge to call your ex and patiently await a better partner.
11. You might be feeling lonely.
If you’ve secluded yourself in your room, surrounded by tissues and chocolates, only to immerse yourself in tears and rom-coms, it may not be the most constructive approach. While it’s acceptable to grieve, lingering in this state for too long can lead to feelings of loneliness.
12. You need to let go.
Healing can take time. Begin to perceive yourself and love yourself as it is crucial. Remember why you and your ex broke up in the first place. Try to become a better version of yourself by doing the things that make you happy. Sulking about a failed relationship will not help you. It’s important to let go of things, delete your ex’s number from your phone and refrain from a reunion neither in person nor over the phone.
Source: Momjunction
