Clarence and Mabel were almost high school sweethearts.
They met at a school dance in 1943.
She liked swing music. He liked silence.
From day one, Clarence said, “You talk too much.”
Mabel smiled and replied, “And you listen too little.”
They’ve been shouting sweet nothings ever since.
They dated for 80 years.
Not because of romance…
…but because Clarence said,
“Marriage is a big step. Let’s not rush into it.”
During that time:
They raised 4 kids who moved out for peace and quiet.
They fought over 67 TV remotes.
Mabel threatened divorce 1,924 times.
Clarence proposed zero times.
Until last week.
At age 103, Clarence stood up, turned to Mabel and said,
“I guess you’re not going anywhere, huh?”
She said, “Only to your funeral if you don’t hurry up and propose.”
So he popped the question right after popping his hip out of place.
Their wedding was small.
Mostly because most of their friends were either in heaven or forgot they RSVP’d.
Clarence mumbled, “Do I have to say ‘I do’?”
Mabel shot back, “You better. I waited too long.”
💍 Marriage is funny every day… follow for more laughs, and share if you agree!
A woman is sitting bed with her lover
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’
‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room
‘Oh, it’s a statue,’ she replied.
‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
‘Here, have this’ he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue.
Then he said to the statue: ‘I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!!’
If you enjoyed this story, you should check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.
